Angry in the Great White North

Michael Ignatieff, deputy leader of the Liberal Party of Canada, wants the party to adopt the puffin as its official symbol:

The beaver is one of Canada's national symbols and now a senior Liberal wants to make the puffin the symbol of the country's self-proclaimed natural governing party.

Liberal deputy leader Michael Ignatieff says the industrious little seabird -- with its black and white plumage, distinctive striped beak and orange feet -- is a "noble'' creature that exemplifies Liberal values.

"It's a noble bird because it has good family values. They stay together for 30 years,'' Ignatieff said Thursday outside a Liberal caucus retreat in the Newfoundland capital.

"They lay one egg (each year). They put their excrement in one place. They hide their excrement. ... They flap their wings very hard and they work like hell.

"This seems to me a symbol for what our party should be.''

OK, do I need to say it?

They put their excrement in one place. They hide their excrement.

I thought that's what the Liberals used the Senate for.

Ba-dum-bum-psh

Thank you, thank you. I'm here 'till Tuesday. Try the veal.

Hey, on an entirely unrelated subject, I wonder how Raymond Lavigne is doing?

But really, the puffin is a clean bird. That's all Michael Ignatieff had to say. A clean bird. But no, he starts going on about how puffins hide their stinking befoulment from sight, just like Liberals do.

All he had to say was that it was a clean bird.

Why a puffin? Is Michael Ignatieff paying back a favour?

I know it sounds crazy, but Stephane and Bob saw it too. This little bird, like a penguin or something, hanging around whenever we had strategy meetings. And I swear it was wearing a hat -- a very neat and clean-looking bird. But here's the really weird thing. I'm sure I saw that little bird talking to Michael. Like the bird was telling him everything it heard and saw...Stop looking at me like that! I know what I saw. Stephane and Bob will back me up. Right guys? Guys? Guys?...You bastards!