Stephane Dion's call to Canadians to take over the world
The Liberal Party annouces on its home page that "Canada Must Take on the World."
But in an unfortunate confusion of prepositions, world domination became the focus of Mr. Dion's speech to the Canadian Club of Ottawa.
From the Liberal Party homepage:
Liberal Leader Stephane Dion today called on the Conservative government to reverse its trend of setting economic policies that look only to the next election.
Unlike the Conservative government's short-sighted approach, Mr. Dion committed a future Liberal government to implementing a competitiveness strategy that includes investing in education and innovation, helping Canadian businesses access and succeed in global emerging markets, and ensuring the competitiveness of Canada's tax regime.
"Canada has the resources and skills to take over the world.," Mr. Dion said during a major speech to Canadian Club of Ottawa.
Unaware of the mistaken use of the preposition "over" instead of "on", and the subtle shift in meaning from global competition to world domination that resulted, Mr. Dion was surprised to find himself flanked on one side by Dracula, Lord of the Undead, and on the other side by Godzilla, recognized by authorities as the most powerful and influential of the great Pacific Rim mega-monsters.
Showcasing his oratory skills, Mr. Dion soldiered on despite the unplanned stage appearance by Messrs. Dracula and Godzilla.
"While the rest of the world sets ambitious targets and commits major resources, the Harper government fails to invest in our long term economic prosperity," he said. "The bottom line is this: under Stephen Harper, we're investing far less in Canada's most important resource - our people."
Mr. Dracula agreed with Mr. Dion.
"People are, of course, the greatest resource. Indeed, without a constant supply of people, I would grow weak, and could fall prey to my enemies who live in the light of the sun. I fully support Mr. Dion's policy of tapping into the Canada's lifeblood. I encourage Canadians to take up Mr. Dion's challenge to take over the world, and to join the shuffling ranks of my blood-drained minions to make that nightmare come true."
Mr. Dion said a new Liberal government's economic agenda would include three prongs: competitive taxes, aggressive international trade and a massive commitment to innovation and education.
Mr. Godzilla agreed with the priorities as set by Mr. Dion.
"In my opinion, the Conservatives are focused far too much on military adventures. Canada ought not to be taking its cue from the United States, with its emphasis on a military capable of repelling even the most powerful radioactivity-spewing city-crushing 100-foot-tall mega-monster. Instead of trying to address years of Liberal neglect of the military, Canada ought to follow the lead of my friend Stephane and take over the world. I am happy to commit to entering a militarily-weakened Canada and, after having made what I hope to be memorable visits to all your major urban centres to deliver a message on another one of Stephane's priorities, that being urban renewal, I would like to use Canada as the launching point for a new global campaign to replace the immense carbon footprint of the industrial world with one of my own. I know Stephane and I see eye-to-eye on the goal of signficantly reducing human industrial activity."
After the speech, the Liberal Party issued an official communique to correct the text of the speech as delivered. A spokesperson also insisted that though the new platform being developed by Mr. Dion did not intend to suggest global domination as a goal, Mr. Dion's commitment to democracy meant that the opinions of all interested parties would be considered, and if even remotely possible, every point of view voiced would be reflected in official Liberal Party policy. This stands in stark contrast to Prime Minister Stephen Harper's autocratic style of a singular vision.
See the full text of Stephane Dion's speech. It should be noted that he indeed said "take on" and not "take over". This is just a parody inspired by the Liberal home page, and an opportunity to poke some fun at Liberal Party policies and recent statements by Liberal Party members.
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Comments
"While the rest of the world sets ambitious targets and commits major resources, the Harper government fails to invest in our long term economic prosperity," he said.
In Governmentopia, paying people to do nothing, or to offer some service that no one particularly asked for, at a price that no one particularly wants to pay, is "investment".
You're right - Dracula is very pleased.
Posted by: at March 9, 2007 09:30 PM
No no ... Dion meant taking "over" the world, and the Babelfish translation into Fremch confirms it:
"Car le premier ministre je placerait le Canada pour succéder le monde."
Why stop at Canada, a ratshit little country, when you can conquer the world and make everybody speak Fremch so that everybody will understand you.
Posted by: Observer at March 9, 2007 09:33 PM
Y'know, I think there are a couple of lab mice in front of Mr. Dion when it comes to the "world" thing . . .
Posted by: PhantomObserver at March 9, 2007 09:55 PM
And, in a related story, Harper promises to spend all the money in the world to get his majority.
Posted by: at March 9, 2007 10:17 PM
Harper does not want an election. There is no election forthcoming in the near future. In my opinion it is the responsibility of government to announce programs that affect us - especially pre-budget to let us know what is going to be available in the next fiscal year and how the budgeted money from the 2006 year is being allocated.
That is the big difference re: Harper vs Martin's coss country billions of dollars in pre-election spending announcements. Martin was pledging money that was unbudgeted for, unapproved by parliament and when he knew an election was coming within weeks.
Harper wants to set a fixed election date for October 2009. There is NO election forthcoming unless the Liberal keep putting our entire country at risk with stupid stunts like nixing anti-terror laws or committing us to $100 billio plus to participate in the world's largest swindle called Kyoto.
Posted by: Lorraine at March 10, 2007 12:14 AM
Dion is a little late jumping on the world domination bandwagon
http://cwd.ptbcanadian.com/
Posted by: Nbob at March 10, 2007 02:22 AM
This is getting embarrassing. Mr. Dion's performance as the leader of the Opposition is no longer amusing, it is downright painful to watch. Mr. Dion should think before making a speech, as he still has not yet learnt how to avoid making gaffes, despite being a MP and Cabinet Minister in two previous governments. Maybe he should get one of his aides to clear his speeches before he makes them.
Posted by: Tony at March 10, 2007 04:42 AM
I really like Mr. Dion's idea that every single point of view should be incorporated into and reflected in Liberal policy. It is this very community of Canadian understanding -- this realization that everybody is somehow ineffably squeezed into one tent, and that the resulting...event... brings...everyone to consensus by virtue of...descriptions of the event -- that has ultimately brought to our great nation God's gift to Canada: the Liberal Party of Canada.
Mr. Harper's thick-ankled specificity, on the other hand, is profoundly redolent of America.
I guess what I'm trying to say it....George Bush!!!
Posted by: EBD at March 10, 2007 05:36 AM
What he really meant was it's time for the Dionosaurs to retake the planet.
Posted by: iggyforpresident at March 10, 2007 06:20 AM
Guys, I didn't think you would take it so seriously. My bad. He did say "take on" and not "take over" (at least that's what the official text of the speech released by the Party records). This was just some silly fun and a way of making some gentle pokes at Liberal Party statements of late (reducing industrial activity and the mysterious "consequences" mentioned by Mark Holland).
I've added a link to the actual speech and an explanation to the post.
Damn, but humor is tricky.
Posted by: Steve Janke at March 10, 2007 07:10 AM
DeYawn is obviously from a cloistered non productive political class to enunciate such utopian dreams publicly....unless he has a drama queen for a speech writer.
The more I hear from this sheltered Patrician the more detached from reality and the average Canadian he seems.
Posted by: WL Mackenzie Redux at March 10, 2007 10:48 AM
For Steffawn, taking over the Liberal Party may seem like taking
over the world, it's a mammoth feat in itself.
The more he stammers through the English language the more
confused the message. Maybe he would be well advised to go
into hiding and learn the Anglais.
Failing that, he should try a gig at "Just for Laughs", some of his
misplaced adverbs and adjectives and pronouns would be a real
hoot in that setting. His 'Handlers' are having a hell of a time trying
to keep up with the translation.
For a person with such lofty and worldly ambition he must have led
a very cloistered life. Having spent so many years in Ottawa, with
English all around him, one would think he would have made an
attempt.
It's quite serious. Attempting to lead the country and not be able
to be coherent in the language of the MAJORITY is just not on.
Posted by: Liz J at March 10, 2007 02:01 PM
Never mind the 'take on' versus 'take over'. The point is, that Dion has no practical tactics of 'taking on' the world, trapped as he is within an academic cocoon of words and ideas.
How the heck is Canada supposed to 'take on' the world, whether economically, socially or militariliy? Under the Liberals, it has no capacity to assist militarily in that world and must rely on the US, Australia and others.
It has, under the Liberals, moved research into the inanities of postmodernist relativism in the social sciences and humanities, by its strangehold on research funds (almost no private research foundations); its insistence on setting the research themes (!!!). And, since it taxes both individuals and corporations so heavily, Canada has no investor class to invest in technological research and development. We rely on the innovations of the US and Europe.
Socially - our health care system is a mess, held on to with a religious fundamentalism, our immigration and refugee program is equally a mess, giving us the unwanted title of Hotel Canada.
Dion has no plans to do anything to 'take on' the world, other than the usual empty vapid Liberal rhetoric, which we've heard again and again from Chretien and Martin.
Posted by: ET at March 10, 2007 02:42 PM
the same post for 3 days!
maybe is time to get out?
Posted by: george at March 10, 2007 07:37 PM
"Gee, Brain, what'd you wanna do tonight?" "The same thing we do every night, Pinky — Try to take over the world!"
Posted by: The Brain at March 11, 2007 03:56 PM
 
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