Angry in the Great White North
Masking a poor product with a gimmick
Saturday, March 25, 2006 at 10:46 PM

Read other posts by Steve Janke published by the National Post
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We've all seen gimmicks. We tend to dismiss them, because by definition, they have a childish appeal:

Finding a successful gimmick for an otherwise mundane product is often an important part of the marketing process. For example, toothbrushes are often given various gimmicks, such as bright colors, easy-grip handles, or color-changing bristles so they appear more exciting to consumers. This is often done when trying to appeal to children, who often get more excited about the gimmick than the product.

Who gets excited about typical leftie belly-aching about evil corporations, evil conservatives, evil this and evil that? Normally no one does. I mean, after a while, the sheer volume of evil is mind-numbing. More than a few people sympathetic to the left must begin to wonder just how evil these things really are -- I mean, the world manages to function reasonably well despite all the alleged evil.

And for those who think this works in reverse, remember that the right thinks the left is misguided, while the left thinks the right is evil.

With that, it comes as no surprise that the left resorts to gimmicks far more than the right. This can be burning effigies and flags, staging sit-ins and die-ins, or throwing pies and balloons filled with paint. The right rarely indulges in these sorts of theatrics. On Canada's web-based home for the left, rabble.ca, we see a new gimmick that tries to maintain the interest of the consumer:

click to enlarge

The goal here is to make Stephen Harper disappear:

Depressed about the Conservative victory in the election? Wishing you could think of a way to get rid of Stephen Harper before he does too much damage? Now you can help us make that smirk just disappear. How?

From between $10 and $100, you can buy a 10x10 pixel spot on this banner showing Stephen Harper's face. The price is adjusted to reflect where on the banner you pick, the face being the priciest bits. On that spot you get a teeny tiny symbol and a link to your progressive web site. For instance, NDP MP Libby Davies links to her website from Stephen Harper's chin.

You're not actually helping defeat the Conservatives as such, but just indulging in a bit of web-based graffiti. The purpose is to generate cross-traffic and help build the ARRG:

Your pixel ad will help rabble build an Active Rapid Response Group (ARRG) that will be there every time the Conservatives try to cut funding, cut programs or do anything else to destroy what you care about in this country.

Sure. Whatever.

For example, did you know there was a vigil outside Sussex Drive the day of Harper's swearing-in to demand that he maintain the federal commitment on child care?

Um, no, so I guess it wasn't really effective. And since Stephen Harper's approval rating is now hitting the 66% range in British Columbia, where so many die-hard NDP-types make their home, ARRG seems to be off to a bad start.

That's the problem with gimmicks. They sound cute. They might even catch your eye. But in the end, they are shallow, and they certainly can't transform a fundamentally poor product into a good one. But they can help mask a poor product, which probably explains why rabble has a gimmick on their home page, while the home page of the Fraser Institute web site is filled with actual ideas.

But what if a right-wing web site decided to go with a gimmick? How about a Java-based game not unlike the old Missile Command from Atari. Instead of missile raining down on you, NDP talking points come out of the sky. More money for the environment. Higher minimum wage. Labour-friendly laws. Punitive taxes. Complete demilitarization. If one hits the ground, it means that the NDP has succeeded in causing you embarrassment on that particular issue. Your job is to shoot down each of these by sending up a counter-missile made up of money from your limited budget. Use enough money, and the NDP missile is eliminated before it strikes.

Sort of the way the NDP didn't seem to care about having a parliamentary debate and vote on the issue of Canadian troops in Afghanistan while the Liberals were in power as long as the Liberals were spending billions to incorporate NDP platform planks into an ad hoc budget. Now that the Conservatives are in power, however, having that debate has suddenly become the most important thing in the world.

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